Not a NIMBY tonight

Few of us live on the doorstep of our favourite team. We all have to get in the car, jump on the train or hop on a bus to get to a game these days. When I travel abroad to watch football these days I will always try to find a hotel close to the ground, enjoying that smug feeling of being in the bar 10 minutes after the game whilst other fans struggled to make their way home. Smug that is until the opposition fans steam in and trash it.

I once knew a Brentford fan who found his dream house in Braemer Road, literally a stone’s throw from his favourite seat in the main stand.  After a season he was so fed up of fans throwing litter in his garden, scratching his car and generally behaving like football fans do he put in up for sale.  It was bought by another Brentford fan.  We are all mugs aren’t we when it comes to football? Stick a bloody club badge on a pile of crap and we will lap it up.

During my years working over here in Copenhagen I have been lucky enough to see a few games.  I have travelled far and wide in Scandinavia when the opportunity has arisen but still there is no place like “home” and the opportunity to walk up the road to catch a game.  Parken, the national stadium, is a 20 minute stroll from TBIR Towers here in the Capital of Cool. In the past year it has been a bumper time for the stadium, hosting sell out games in the Champions League against Chelsea and Barcelona.  England came here in February as I was able to enjoy the company of some of Fleet Street’s finest.  But the dream fixture (apart from Lewes FC) would be seeing West Ham play in Copenhagen.

Back in early June I was sitting in a meeting when my phone vibrated.  Nothing unusual there as it seems to go off every few minutes with another offer to buy Viagra or the news that I had been chosen by some wealthy widow to receive all of her cash.  But it went off about a dozen times in thirty seconds.  Such situations are like when the phone goes at home late at night.  You immediately think “Who is dead”?  I excused myself and saw 10 text messages from a variety of people.

“Can I stay at yours?”, “I will bring the beers”, “Bet you are happy about that” were three examples.  I had no idea on what people were talking about until I consulted Auntie Twitter (Uncle Google is the font of all historical knowledge, Twitter the news now).  The Hammers were coming to town.  Unbelievable Jeff.  My West Ham  were playing in Copenhagen.  And I could walk there.

R-E-S-U-L-T.  I did a little jig of joy and I gloated to every one I could.  Everyone in the office surely felt that this was the biggest game ever?  Nope.  Not even a flicker of interest.  Even the FCK season ticket holders suggested it would be a dead duck.  The game fell a week into their season and would simply be an opportunity to get some more practice under their belt.

“It will be like playing everyone else in the Superliga last season” Said one fan, referring to the ease with which FCK won the league last season, winning 25 of their 33 games. I couldn’t disagree at the time with the Hammers in disarray after being relegated with a whimper.

But time has moved on.  West Ham have appointed Sam Allardyce and the job of trying to retain our Premier League status has started.  The club immediately put its valuable assets up for sale.  In fact, in another dreadful PR move they actually put them up for sale publically prior to the season end.  But bids had been slow to come in.  Cole was on the bring of signing for Stoke City, but the deal broke down last weekend and the striker immediately went on the charm offensive by saying he “was ready to fight to get the Hammers back in the Premier League”.  Scott Parker had been touted all over the place by the press.  The latest beaus had been Chelsea, interested in taking him back as cover for Michael Essien on a season-long loan.  The situation on Robert Green less public.  A rumoured interest from Bursaspor had come to nothing, with the Turks signing Scott Carson instead.

Last week we crossed the Alps and watched a young team, mixed with a few older squad players lose to Young Boys Berne. Two days later they lost again to FC Basel.  So now was an opportunity to test themselves against a much stronger team in theory; a team who reached the last 16 in the Champions League last season, a fact borne out by the starting XI which featured Green, Parker and Noble – all players who if you believe the English press would not be starting the Championship season, well not at West Ham anyway.

Obviously, when in Copenhagen and watching FCK it is necessary to meet up with Ivar and Hans, and tonight was no different.  After making sure Mick “Know it All” was pointed in the right direction of the £10 pints at Nyhavn we headed from some traditional Danish fayre - Stegt Flæsk og Persille Sovs and lashings of Carlsberg Special (note to fans in England this is NOT the same as Special Brew!).

West Ham fans are some of the loyalist in the game and so it was no surprise to come out of the restaurant and find them marching up the road to the ground.  Tickets for the game were being sold at 120DKR (£15) which is cheap for Danish standards, and despite the long summer break, the home fans hadn’t warmed to this game.  In fact it looked like some had been left behind after the aborted Take That concert on Saturday, cancelled at the last-minute after Robbie Williams developed “food poisoning”.  The away end of Parken still showed signs of where the stage was, meaning the Hammers fans were located above the action in the area normally reserved for the Brondby bonfires.

FC Copenhagen 0 West Ham United 1 – Parken – Wednesday 20th July 2011
If I was to say that the biggest cheer of the first half was for an announcement that Ajax had beaten Brondby on the other side of the city you would get an idea that it wasn’t the best of halves.  One of the issues that West Ham faced last season was the propensity Avram Grant had to “tinker” with a team.  Not when we lost (well, OK he did when we lost) but also when we eventually won a game.  One massive stand out problem was the defence.

So it was with a groan that we saw Winston Reid starting at centre-back.  Fair does to the New Zealander, he looked a Championship player from the first whistle, pumping the ball long to the corners as if he was trying to impress John Beck himself.

The Hammers started with Parker, Noble AND Nolan in the middle of the park.  That was obviously never going to work with two players often fighting for the same ball in the opening exchanges.  And talking of fighting, there was good old Boa Morte, tussling at one point with a paper bag that had blown onto the pitch.

West Ham did create the opening chance which Boa Morte fired straight at the keeper, which was a darn sight closer than Nolan’s effort – West Ham’s only other effort in the first half that sailed into the empty top-tier behind the goal.

That being said Robert Green didn’t have a proper save to make.  He bravely threw himself at a ball to just beat Dame N’Doye (no relation to Dame Maggie Smith) and injured himself in the process.  Cue the sight of 8 foot Ruud Boffin warming up with Freddie Sears on the touch-line and come the half time break it was clear that Green would take no further part.

The second half saw FCK start the stronger and they had the ball in the net on 52 minutes but a linesman flag denied them a goal. Five minutes later Allardyce made some changes to try to inject some pace into the lacklustre Hammers display.  On came Sears, Brown and O’Brien for Collison, Parker and Nolan.

Fifteen minutes later and the referee again was shattering the dreams of the FCK fans.  Boffin made a great save bravely diving at the feet of the oncoming FCK forward who made contact, the ball spilt loose and was put in the net. It was all Copenhagen at this stage.  Another chance went begging a few minutes later when a great move saw the ball find Nordstrand in one of those Carlos Alberto moments from the 1970 World Cup Final.  The Brazilian gave us all a lesson by keeping his head down and powering through the ball.  Alas the Dane did nothing of the sort and the ball sales over.

And then it happened. I could feel it in my water.  In fact I even Tweeted that I thought there would be a goal.  And two minutes later I was right.  After Joey O’Brien’s header had been brilliantly saved by Johan Wiland, Freddie Sears picked up a loose ball, waltzed past two defenders and slotted the ball into the net.  The improbable had just become the possible.

With just a minute or so left there was little time for FCK create anything and when the final whistle blew there were only a few hardy home fans left in the stadium.  At the far end the West Ham fans were quite rightly rocking.  It had been a hard fought win, but it was a win and a win against a team who would be competing in the Champions League.  In fact I think we deserve a cup for such a victory – the Carlsberg Little Mermaid Lego Trophy I think will do, taking pride of place alongside the Intertoto Cup.

After the game I went down and spoke with Jack Collison.  Almost a year ago we interviewed him as he started his rehabilitation from his knee injury.  Now he was back playing again and looking forward to the start of the season, especially as first up was Cardiff City, the team followed by the majority of his family.  I then managed to grab a word or two with Big Sam.  Click Sam interview to hear what he had to say.

So a good evenings work all round.  As the team departed back to their hotel, ready for their flight back to the UK I was able to walk home, enjoying the sights and sounds of the city In My “Back Yard”.

More photos from the game can be found on our Flickr feed here.

Tags: Copenhagen, Denmark, FCK, Parken, Sam Allardyc, West Ham United

Our Danish season in 1300 words

Three seasons ago it seemed as if the shift of power in the Danish Superliga had moved away from Copenhagen with AaB claiming their third title and the new kids on the block FC Midtjylland edging out FCK and Brondby in second place.  The Danish press heralded it as the dawn of a new era in the domestic game.  New manager Bruce Rioch led AaB to the Champions League group stages, beating Celtic at home before gaining a very credible draw at Old Trafford against Manchester United.  And then it all went horribly wrong.  Domestic form went out of the window and by the time the league recommenced after the winter break, Rioch was gone and the title had almost fallen back into the lap of FC Copenhagen.

It is fair to say that football in Denmark will never change.  The rich keep getting richer, the rest simply fight for the scraps that fall from the table.  FCK, after their disastrous Champions League campaign in 2009/10 where they failed to overcome APOEL in the qualifying rounds, the priority for manager Ståle Solbakken this season was to at least reach the Group Stages.  He knew he had a good enough squad.  He had won the Superliga in 2009/10 at a canter from OB and set his objective for the season accordingly.

To read more head on over to Stone by Stone.

Tags: Superliga

The day the sausages ran out…

So after nearly 11 months my Danish season draws to a close with an afternoon we all love – a double header.  With so many teams playing in Copenhagen these days there is always a game on somewhere, especially on National Holidays such as today.  The Danes, like their German cousins, celebrate Ascension Day.  The day that Christ, allegedly, got on a special Ryanair plane and flew up into the sky.  And they take a day off for it.  Now considering that the country is one of the least religious I have ever visited I find this quite odd.  However, it did mean only half a days work for me (I keep English hours despite being in Denmark) and then an afternoon of football.

And what more could a man ask for.  BGA and BSF both at home, separated by a few miles of motorway.  What do you mean you have never heard of them?  Legends in these parts, legends.  In a town where their rivals include AB, FB, B93, HIK and B1903 it is hard to remember who is who, but do we really care?  After all it is football.  And Danish football means sausages, beer, err beer and more sausages.  OK, I admit it.  I am addicted to watching football with a pint in one hand, and a sausage in another.

First up was BGA v Greve.  Boldklubberne Glostrup Albertslund were formed out of a merger of Glostrup FK and surprisingly Albertslund IF.  Glostrup FK themselves were formed back in 2003 from a merger between three local teams.  It is all so complicated out here.  I often find watching Eastenders and understanding their “family trees” more relaxing that trying to work out the parentage of Danish football teams.  What do you need to know to start with?  They play in an athletics ground (boo), they wear all red and they sell beer and sausages.  There, simple as that.  They are flirting with the relegation zone back to the Denmark Series, the regional leagues with just three games to go.  The visitors Greve would be relegated if they didn’t win this one, although even three points may not be enough if results elsewhere went in their favour.

And straight after this one it was on the 500S “express” bus (A Danish term for being able to charge you even more money to use public transport) to Ballerup.  There you will find the Ballerup Super Arena, one of the premier cycling venues in Northern Europe.  A fantastic facility that also hosts concerts and Handball.  Step outside and look to the north.  See that hedge?  Just the other side of that is the home of Ballerup Skovlunde Fodbold Klub, or BSF.  If the situation with Greve looked terminal, then BSF’s was post-mortem.  They were relegated a few weeks ago and came into this game adrift at the bottom of the league.  Their opponents, Skjold were not in the best position either.  One place and one point above the relegation zone this was a must game for them too.

So Survival Sunday had been translated into Trembly Thursday in the Danish Second Division (East).  Who would be anywhere else?

BGA 2 Greve 1 – Glostrup Idrætspark – Thursday 2nd June 2011 – 1pm
The sun was shining on the Glostrup Idrætspark when we arrived just as the game started.  Of course Alan and I had missed the memo that said today was “Dress as an English football fan day”.  Alan has a slinky little sleeveless vest number on which was complimented perfectly by his sling (collarbone injury), whilst I was dressed in my finest official Bosnian FA top.  However, the Danes hadn’t disappointed with numbers from Spurs, Man Utd and Wolves (Wolves!) on display around the edge of the athletics ground that is the home of Glostrup.

The home fans sitting high up in the stand tried to generate some atmosphere, although a disappointing lack of away fans in the hundred or so in attendance didn’t help.  Greve is only 20 minutes away by train (In Copenhagen nothing is more than 20 minutes away by train).

The game had a real end of season feel to it.  Which is quite ironic really as that is exactly what is was.  Greve’s on the pitch urgency was clear to see from the first minute and they hit the bar and the post in the opening period.  However, it was the home side that went in front with a goal Sam Allardyce would be proud of.  Big hoof over the defenders, physical centre forward muscles his way through and slots home.  If things stayed the same BGA would be safe and Greve relegated.

Things never get too passionate at this level though and half time saw more interest in the sausages and the beer rather than scores elsewhere. With league leaders Nordvest surprisingly losing at home to fellow relegation candidates Frederikssund it wasn’t so cut and dried for the home side, and if Sky Sports themselves were controlling the action Greve then equalised on the hour.  All of a sudden mud was clearer than this position.  But fear not exiled Blodklubberne Glostrup Albertslund fans as they restored their lead on seventy five minutes with a well taken effort.

Greve suddenly realised that relegation was going to happen and threw everything they could in a polite way at BGA but it was too little too late.  Frederikssund’s win and their defeat ensured that next season they would be playing their football in front of a hundred or so fans where the quality of the sausage was more important than the game.  So a bit like this season really.

BSF 1 Skjold 1 – Ballerup Idrætspark – Thursday 2nd June 2011 – 3pm
And as if by magic we appeared about 20 minutes north (of course) in posh little Ballerup.  Nothing spoils a Public Holiday here.  The lawns are manicured, the dogs are silenced and even the football is hidden behind a moat and huge grass banks.  From the outside the ground would pass for a medieval fort ruins, and with no floodlights to blot the landscape it was hard to appreciate the game was on.  But on it was and after paying another 50Dkr we walked in to find us looking the odd ones out by forgetting our European football shirts this time.  Barcelona, Genoa, Real Madrid, Chelsea, Man Utd, Liverpool and a fat lad with a Newcastle 7 Barton shirt on gave us funny looks as if we were the odd ones out.

We took our place next to the VIP section hoping to get a glimpse of Sepp, Michel or even Sir Trevor but no-one showed up.  So instead we got our beers and sat back for another cracking game.

Frederikssund’s win had pushed the visitors into the relegation zone and so they brought out the big guns – the replica luminous green ex-Chelsea away kit.  Not to be outdone BSF had a special treat of their own.  Each player (apart from a few with blanks) had a different sponsors logo on the front.  Unique?  Ridiculous?  Ground breaking?  You decide.

The game ebbed and flowed as a cast of look-a-likes played the game.  BSF’s captain had more than a passing resemblance to Matthew Upson, complete with a limp from the fifth minute that will no doubt keep him out of action for six months.  David Burrows at full back for the visitors ran up and down the pitch with little effect.  Kanu started in midfield, drifted all over the place and in the end tried to blend in with the trees with his green shirt.

Despite some desperate defending, the odd fracas and some appalling first touches, the half ended goal less.  More amusement during the interval.  One of the Skjold subs (we will call him TinTin although he looked like Cameron Diaz inTHAT moment in There’s something about Mary) came over to the side of the pitch to chat to a fan.  Although when she took out a tissue and wiped his nose and then gave him an apple we got the feeling the relationship might be a bit maternal.  He was called back into action on the half way line as the subs were all taking it in turns to try and score from the half way line.  Ten attempts, zero goals.  Perhaps that is why they are subs for a team in Danish 2nd Division East?

The second half continued in much the same vein.  Relegated BSF always looked more likely to score and score they eventually did after a corner wasn’t cleared and Stevie Spriggs look alike (going back awhile now – centre midfielder, about 3 foot tall) smashed the ball home.  The lead lasted all of ten minutes before Skjold themselves scored from a corner, sending the three away fans rushing down the grass bank to celebrate with the players.

So a draw looked like a fair result.  But wait.  We still had the best bit of the game to come.  The BSF forward to looked like he loved a pie or two lost possession of the ball on the edge of the Skjold penalty area.  He fell theatrically holding his leg.  Play went on.  In fact play went on for about two minutes, during which time the keeper tried to pull him up and he shrugged off his gesture going back to hugging his other leg.  Eventually the ball went out of play so the referee ran back to see what was wrong.  As he approached him the player jumped up and immediately started shouting.  Yellow Card.  Then he continued to shout, but this time right in the face of the referee.  Second Yellow Card and off he went.  Except he didn’t give up.  He carried on with his verbal tirade and out came the Red again.  He got a standing ovation as he finally left the field, remembering to limp after he passed the keeper and he reminded him that he was suppose to be injured.

So a draw was irrelevant to already relegated BSF but a bad result for Skjold as they remain in the bottom four with just two games left.  Quite an amusing end to my Danish season I would say.

More pictures from an afternoon of amusement can be found here.

Tags: BGS, BSF, Greve, Skjold

I just don’t get it?

If I had to be cast away on a desert island and could only take a few items I am quite clear what number one on my list would be…OK, number two then behind Eliza Dushku.  MARMITE.  As the saying goes, you either love it or hate it.  I have been in the former’s camp since the age of one.  I have it on toast, I cook my roast potatoes in it and I have been known to smear it on the naked torsos of some lucky ladies (all in the past of course if CMF gets round to reading this). BUT this week we had some potentially devastating news.  Denmark had banned Marmite. How could I survive my weeks out here without my little jar of happiness?

Unsurprisingly us Brits were up in arms and the Times, Guardian and BBC all took this very seriously.  Twitter went into meltdown, pleased that the fiasco of Super Injunctions was being buried under controversy somewhere else in the world. Even the US-based Huffington Post picked up on the story. Reprisal actions were announced - “Boycott Ikea” came the call from “Dave, Chelmsford”.  Bless him.  He obviously assumes that Scandinavia is in fact a country on its own right.  “Let’s ban Carlsberg” - another great suggestion from a chap in Devon.  Except Carlsberg isn’t brewed in Denmark anymore, rather in Northampton.

Ben and I planned our own black market operation, secretly importing the Extra Mature version for ex-pats.  We had quite  a few addicts lined up when the Danish Food Agency came out with a “clarification” statement.  No it wasn’t banned, but the sale of it would be regulated due to the ingredients, and only sold via outlets with a licence.  So like methadone then.

So, the most “liberal” country in the world to do business in, the least corrupt country in the world in 2010, the world’s happiest county, the first country that legalised pornography (back in 1969), a country where the age of consent is 15 and one where having sex with animals is technically legal, a country which had the first ever hippy “state” in Christiana can also tell it’s people what it can and cannot eat.  These Danes are crazy.

And to prove the fact even further we saw contrasting events during an evening of football to show the good and bad in the people.

Brondby came into the game with FC Norsjælland needing a favour from FCK.  With the runners up in the Superliga this season going into the Champions League (albeit at the start of the Qualifying Rounds) it was down to a three horse race.  OB were in prime position, sitting five points ahead of Brondby and FCM with just two games to go, but the first of those was at home to Champions FCK who had only lost one league game all season.  So the hope was for an FCK and a Brondby win thus taking the race down to the last day.  But of course supporting FCK was a bridge too far for many Brondby fans I knew so they had already resigned themselves to the Europa League.

The visitors to West Copenhagen, FCN had won the Danish Cup again on Saturday, in a game delayed by a monumental lightning storm.  They had beaten FC Midtjylland 3-2 to win the cup for the second year in a row and thus had already packed their beach towels for the season.  So a formality for Brondby surely?

I met up with Alan who has been enjoying a few months in Copenhagen going to as much football as he can jam in, with the only criteria he has to get his wife’s tea ready on the table when she comes home from work.  A Glaswegian, who lives in Brighton and thus supports Rangers and The Albion.  We got to the stadium a good hour before kick off and contemplated where to go in the ground.  A chap came up to Alan and thrust two bits of paper in his hand and walked off.  They appeared to be two tickets, the ones you can these days print at home (well for European football anyway).  They had the right date on, the right ground, the right teams.  Surely people in a country that is wicked enough to ban Marmite wouldn’t do such random acts of kindness?  Perhaps they felt they should apologise for the misery they were going to cause us.

Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth we took them and proceeded to put the same amount we would have paid for tickets over the bar of the 1964 Cafe (Apparently named after the year the club were formed and not after the New Order song of the same name), which being in Denmark was approximately 2 pints.

Brondby IF 1 FC Nordsjælland 1 – Brondby Stadion – Wednesday 25th May 2011
We approached the turnstiles with trepidation.  What if they were the missing link in a series of murders?  And only the killers would have the tickets?  Would scanning the bar code alert Interpol to come and grab us?  The light went green and we climbed the 87 steps to the top of the South East stand, sitting in one of the empty seats in the row behind “Just in case”.

The game had an already resigned end of season feel to it.  The crowd was just over 11,000 and that seemed generous.  FCN had brought 37 from our joint efforts at counting them.  Considering they are 40 minutes away on a train it wasn’t that impressive.  News filtered through that OB had taken the lead.  Minutes later Brondby opened the scoring themselves when Clarence Goodson slotted the ball home.

The highlight of the first seventy five minutes was undoubtably the half time competition for Pige 2011.  Pige in Danish means girl which is quite amusing to say the least, and here was a competition to vote for the best pige of 2011.  Leaflets had been handed out prior to the game for us to be able to text vote and now we had the parade of the six finalists.  With a cheeky wave and a wink, Pige number 5 you got two votes from the British contingent.

The second half didn’t set us alight to be honest.  News filtered through of a second for OB versus FCK and the game was up.  Our attention was grabbed by an incident in the front of the terrace below us.  A bit of pushing and shoving between a fan and a steward.  The steward appeared to fall backward and hit his head.  He didn’t get back up.  The fan simply pulled his hoodie tighter and sauntered through the exit.  Not one steward made any effort to go after him nor really see what was wrong with their colleague.  Seven minutes later just as FCN equalised and the plastic cups of beer stared to be thrown down towards the injured party a paramedic with a stretcher turned up.  Whilst we criticise the stewarding at our grounds I would rather have it our way rather than like this.

This soured the end of the game for many of the fans and people drifted towards the exit long before a chorus of boos signalled the end of the game.  Hard to know how to sum up a day in Copenhagen like this really…Good, Bad and Ugly?

Tags: Brondby, FCN, Marmite

Søndag prædiken

With the 2010/11 season coming towards an end in England, attentions turn once again to the Nordics for my regular fix of football.  Denmark still has a few rounds of matches left although in the Superliga there is only pride to play for after FCK wrapped up the league two weeks ago.  That and second spot, which this season sees the Danes steal a Champions League qualifying place from the Scots.  With five games to go three teams were still in with a shout including Brøndby, who if anyone could do with a slice of luck it was them.

And what better way to move a step closer to a place amongst Europe’s elite than a win against bitter rivals and champions FCK in El Vidunderlig  Classico or the New Firm.  After the “fuss” of the last encounter between the two teams where the Brøndby fans had boycotted the match at Parken when they were told they would be fingerprinted to try and avoid causing trouble in the stadium, this game promised a bit of a calmer atmosphere.  Still, it was one not to miss so I headed out to Copenhagen a day earlier than normal to see if it could match the intensity of the Stockholm derby from last month.

But before any main event you need a warm up act.  Whilst Brøndby had arranged for “Outlandish” to play live on the pitch before the game, one look at the dodgy outfits had me reaching for the good old crystal football to see if there were any other options.  And of course once the mist cleared there was the perfect option.  Of course, why didn’t I think of it earlier, BK Avarta v Frederikssund IK from the Danish 2nd Division East, kicking off at 1pm, a 30 minute walk away from the Brøndby stadium.

So what do you want to know about Danish 2nd Division (East) football?  It is comparable to Ryman/Zamaretto/Evostik Premier in terms of attendances with the highest average (belonging to Eastern league leaders Nordvest FC) of 598 this season, and the average across both regional leagues of 270.  BK Avarta were towards the top end of this with 411 at their Espelundens Idrætsanlæg ground in the western outskirts of Copenhagen.  The players are all part time, although they do have a disproportionate number of Morten’s in their squad (15% of them).  Admission was just 60DKR (about £7) to home games, again similar to England and of course this being Denmark, beer and sausages would be on offer to everyone.

I wasn’t alone for this Super Sunday.  Ben would be wandering down the road for the afternoon, making his debut in the press box at Brøndby for GTC Media.  This wasn’t the first time we had taken in the Copenhagen derby.  Nearly four years ago to the day we had been bouncing around on the Faxe Terrace as FCK came, saw and conquered to take the title.  After the game a photographer approached us and asked to take our picture.  Some six months later we appeared in the Daily Express in an article about English football fans who looked abroad for their kicks abroad.  My Mum was so proud.

After negotiating the complexities of the Danish Klippenkart system we were away, heading into the western suburbs of Glostrup for a double dose of delightful Danish.

BK Avarta 3 Frederikssund IK 0 – Espelundens Idrætsanlæg – Sunday 8th May 2011
Going to watch Avarta is like coming home.  If Lewes FC had a Danish cousin then it would be here in Espelundens.  Of course the sunshine made the magic happen, but still for a small club they had got so much right.  On the walk up from Brøndbyosyter station we came upon a huge crowd queuing where the football ground entrance was.  Surely this wasn’t for the football?  After waiting for a few minutes in the crowd we scanned the people around us.  Hmm, no real “football types”.  In fact this wasn’t the football but a queue for Copenhagen’s largest flea market, held every Sunday at 1pm.  Ah, the football was next door, where that sign said “Football”.

The Danish Kroner to the pound has strengthened by around 30% since I have been travelling out this way.  But even so 60DKR for admission was a bargain.  Through the gates and nirvana opened up in front of us.  Espelundens is a simple ground.  One smart newish stand running down one side of the pitch, and a decent size clubhouse behind one goal.  But what set it apart was the huge grass banks that rose up from the pitch on three sides.  You can see now how such a modest club can accommodate 6,000 fans, although I wouldn’t fancy standing on there in the pouring rain.  But on a sunny day everyone was laying back and enjoying the sunshine and the game on offer.  Did I mention beer?  Well what about this – the cheapest beer in Copenhagen.  Carlsberg Pilsner or Dark for just 25DKR – about £3.  You northerners may bang on about this still being “bloody expensive” but bear in mind a normal local bar in Copenhagen will see you pay double that, whilst a tourist trap on Nyhavn will see it top the 80DKR mark.

It was good to have Ben’s local knowledge and translation skills on hand.  He may know only a smattering of Danish words but the words “Sausages are ready” was translated at double quick time and we were at the front of the queue.  The players emerged from a tunnel.  Nothing out of the ordinary there you may think.  But this was a proper tunnel.  Huge concrete pipe bored through the hillside.  I have never seen a finer football entrance.

The game started at quite a pace.  Avarta, sporting a Lewes-esque away kit had Luka Modric in midfield.  If the Croatian ever needs a body double to fool the fans in London then the Avarta number 6 is your man.  Same hair, same girly hairband, same boots and the same almost bowlegged passing style.  He pulled the strings in this game, setting up the opening goal in the tenth minute from a corner that was headed in by the big centre back (actually both centre backs were huge so it was the bigger of the two).

There was a fair size crowd for this level of game.  I have been to a few matches at this level and if the attendance breaks three figures it is a good day for all.  However, with the sunshine, the greenery and undoubtably local talent like this, the crowd was nearly 400.

The second half saw Avarta dominate and score two further goals towards the end of the game.  With both teams not going up or down it was a bit of a dead rubber.  But as a great afternoon out then it could not have been any better.

More pictures from a lovely afternoon of football can be found here including one of a bloke with the highest shorts in the world, an Anti-Glazer protest and more pictures of THAT tunnel. But for now it was a thirty minute walk into the sunshine down to Brøndby.  As we arrived at the stadium so too did the police.  ”That looks like the bomb squad” said Ben.  And so it was.  A threat had been received and the game would be delayed.  What to do but go to the bar.

Brøndby IF 1 FCK 1 – Brøndby Stadion – Sunday 8th May 2011
Considering the animosity between the two clubs, you could not have believed the scene we witnessed on the other side of the ground.  It was almost like a village fete, with football related games for the kids, grills, beer and beautiful women galore. The fans started getting restless after an hour or so, wanting to get into the ground and start their show.  Or were they just too excited to see Outlandish?

Six years after they won their last title there are signs that life could be coming back into Brøndby.  Last season they finished in third place, and this season they seem to be making more of a fight of second place with OB.  FCK on the other hand just seem to have cruised to the title.  Despite losing to Chelsea in the Champions League knock out phase in February, they have continued their dominance domestically, coming into this game on the back of five consecutive wins.

Despite the wait we were not disappointed when it came to some fan action.  FCK had filled the top tier of their stand, with most of the fans dressed in all black.  They had been bused direct to the ground to avoid any problems and they started their flag waving early doors.  Not to be outdone the home fans launched into a riot of yellow and blue as Van Halen pumped out of the speakers.

Unlike the regulations in Sweden, the game started with flares and smoke filling the stadium.  Both sets of fans created a huge noise despite the fact less than 20,000 were in the stadium.  Whilst not at the intensity level of the Stockholm derby it certainly put any game in England to shame due to its noise, colour and show. What more could you ask for on a Sunday afternoon?  Well what about some free beer?  And while you are at it some popcorn and a blanket in case we got chilly?  No problems – the Press facilities were accessed via the corporate lounge, which of course means free stuff.  Beer, sausages, popcorn and blankets were all procured during the course of the afternoon to keep our energy levels up and our Twitter audience up to date.

At half time we inadvertently crashed into the TV studio.  Mistaking a door with a red light on saying “on air” for a toilet is probably not one of my finest moments, but after realising that I was not a protester trying to disrupt Peter Schmeichel or Brian Laudrup in mid flow the armed security guards accepted my apology and only broke one of my fingers when they removed me (This is not 100% true so if you are a “no win no fee” lawyer please do not bother emailing me again).

The long hike up to the press box was a step too far in the second half so we used our Access All Areas passes to sit in the posh seats.  Everyone here got a free beer, with an ingenious little plastic lid containing some peanuts.  Danish design wins the day again.   The game itself was destined to be a draw.  I could go into graphic detail, but you didn’t really want to read that did you?  After all, you can get all the details from Joe Short in his excellent report  here.

So at full time we headed down to the Mixed Zone.  With no English interest on show and our combined Danish stretching to “thank you for food, sausages are ready and where are my trousers” our questioning abilities were severely limited, so we just stood and listened to the others.  The basic gist was that a point was a fair result, Brøndby would have liked all three points in their hunt for a Champions League spot, but they will take one game at a time (Dull football clichés translate into many languages the same). A stonking day out even if I do say so myself.  I urge all football fans to experience a Scandinavian derby game at least once just so you can see what you are missing by watching the sanitised product we have on offer in England.

More photos from the game, and more importantly the fans, can be found here. Including the best looking photographer in Denmark, the bloke who came to the match in his dressing gown and Ben (aka @excession1) hard at work.

Tags: Avarta, Brondby, Denmark, FCK, Superliga

One man, Henrik, and his dog

Who wants to watch Champions League football anyway?  Dull, negative football being played in sanitised corporate heavy stadiums.  Wouldn’t you rather get back to your roots and watch a game untainted by commercialism?  So here is your choice for today – Real Madrid v Tottenham Hotspur in the Champions League Quarter Final 1st leg from a sold out 80,000 Estadio Bernabau or Skjold v BGA in the Danish 2nd Division (East) from Østerbro in front of one man and his dog Henrik.  I can see I am losing you towards the Champions League so let me play to your better judgement.  Beer is available in Copenhagen, not in Madrid.  Ah welcome to my world. Actually, with a 7pm kick off in Copenhagen we could see both.  And that is what Benand I were going to do.

And what better place to watch a game than the marvellous old national stadium, Østerbro.  Sure average attendances for BK Skjold are around 160 but beggars can’t be choosers as it was the only show in town. It served cheap (bear in mind we are in Copenhagen here so £3.50 a pint is very cheap) beer, sausages galore and because someone had forgot to lock the gate from the main road, free entry. And we were being joined by a very special guest.

We love crazy ideas here at TBIR (and EFW) and when we heard of Thomas Rensen and his fantastic plan, we were filled with jealousy.  Thomas is going to see 31 games in 31 days.  A game (or in some cases 2 just for good measure) a day.  He will visit 18 countries in his travels and only use trains.  Now that is dedication.  He was in Copenhagen for this game after being at the Stockholm derby last night.  So far his travels (and bear in mind he is only on day 5) have taken in games in Belgium, Wales, London, two in Northern Germany, Stockholm and Denmark.  If awards were given out for dedication to football then Thomas would get an Oscar hands down.  You can follow his travels on his website and if your Dutch is as good as mine you can read his piece about meeting me at the game here.

Østerbro is dripping with history.  The stadium was opened in 1912 and has hosted virtually every sport going.  Today it is the home of Danish athletics, as well as to Skjold and B93, also in the same league.  Around the edge of the ground are a number of statues, depicting naked men in various athletic poses.  Stop sniggering at the back please! Although it did explain the higher than normal female to male ratio of fans.

It isn’t an ideal place to watch a game from, as there is an athletics track in the way, but for Ben and I it was a view of the future.  One of us (as Ben is a Spurs fan) will be watching our sanitised Premier League offering in two seasons time and like most fans, neither of us want to see that.   We took our seats alongside Thomas and awaited this bottom of the table clash.  Skjold came into the game 3rd from bottom whilst the visitors themselves were only one point above it.

Skjold 3 BGA 1 – Østerbro – Tuesday 5th April 2011
After the magnificent show of “fan action” last night our expectations were essentially at zero for something similar in a cold basic athletics stadium with a hundred or so fans.  Sometimes you can be so wrong. The visitors, BGA, from the west of Copenhagen in Glostrup had brought their hardcore crew of four fans, who armed with two big flags, one drum and a handful of flares, tried to replicate the big match feel.  As the teams emerged down the steps they woke up a few of the neighbours with their little show.

As if in homage to Dutchman Thomas, the teams lined up in a fetching almost 1974 Holland home kit, complete with the unique Adidas three strip numbering system for BGA whilst Skjold had their Feyenoord-esque red and white halved shirt and black shorts.  It was a shame that the pitch wasn’t conducive to playing the ball along the floor – in fact it was the worse pitch I have seen for a long time.

In between conversations with Thomas about his amazing adventure (note to film producers: There is a film here and my suggestion is Jim Carey in the role of Thomas) there actually was some decent play on the pitch.  BGA took the lead in the 11th minute when a free kick into the box saw some shirt pulling in the penalty area and from the resulting penalty (Allan?) Simonsen slammed the ball home.  Fifteen minutes later and it was 1-1 as (Gustav) Holst capitalised on a slip by the BGA full back and drove the ball across the keeper and into the corner of the net.

Five minutes later and the home side should have taken the lead when they were awarded a penalty for a clear foul in the area.  Up stepped the Skjold player and his well struck spot kick was expertly tipped onto the bar by the BGA keeper.

The second half started with both teams attacking from the off.  The quartet of away fans got excited again and set off some more fireworks.  Only this time they managed to catch one of the plastic seats alight.  Cue mad search for a fire extinguisher and a swift exit for the whole of the BGA away support, although asking them to leave the stadium was a bit pointless as they simply continued their support from outside the fence with a perfect view of the action.

The home side eventually ran out winners when (Mark) Steinless and then (Simon) Kvist scored in the final fifteen minutes.  By this stage Ben and I had left, as we had an appointment with a large screen TV, a pint of Carlsberg Brown Ale and a small match in Madrid.  The rest they say is a painful reminder of why you should stick to Danish lower league football.

More pictures from the evening can be found here.

 

Tags: BGA, Osterbro, Skjold

A home away from home

Over a year ago rumours started that England would be playing Argentina in a friendly in February 2011.  Nothing too unusual about that, apart from the venue.  It seemed that for some strange reason the game would be played at Parken in Denmark.  Some said it was the return fixture to England’s 3-2 win in Geneva back in 2007, others said that Adidas who provided kit to both Denmark and Argentina had a deal to host a game with the Danish football association.

Being based for work in Copenhagen gave me the perfect opportunity to find out if there was any truth in the rumours.  None whatsoever.  The DBU (Danish FA) were adamant that only games featuring Denmark would be played on Danish soil.  However, this did not stop someone putting the game as “confirmed” on FIFA.com.  And then our own FA announced that the game would be taking place – not directly but it was obviously common knowledge as The Daily Mail published a story online (see here) about the game and Capello talked about his excitement of playing Argentina.  BUT still no one it appeared had actually asked the Danish Football Association if the game could go ahead.

Tags: Denmark, England, Parken